Questions? Some have answers, and some don’t.

Recently I encountered a man with a talent for asking questions. In addition to standard first date questions, he asked stuff in a new way that provoked new responses. I’ve re-constructed these in a Q & A format starting with the standard questions and moving on from there. Trust me, I asked my own questions, too. –Janet
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STANDARD QUESTIONS

First, let me go on record with the standard intake interview questions we ask on first dates. It’s sort of like a case study to find out where the person is coming from. In practice, of course, these questions are best artfully, skillfully, and organically scattered like breadcrumbs throughout the conversation: “Here’s my answer. Yours?” Sometimes I’ve wished that we could just exchange synopsizes so we can cut to the chase.

Q: Childhood?
A: Anachronistic.

Q: Serious relationships?
A: Six. Two marriages. Two in which I proposed and was turned down. Two proposals I turned down. Symmetrical.

Q: Kids?
A: No. Godchildren, nieces & nephews and their children, upstairs neighbors. Having kids in my life is important to me.

Q: Work?
A: I have three basic skill sets: writing, teaching and training, launching and directing projects. My work in Africa, with the Pueblos in New Mexico, inner city youth, migrant and seasonal farmworkers, and corporate culture forced me to appreciate cultural differences while finding similarities that allow us to connect. From 1972 to 1989 I worked primarily in nonprofit organizations. Since 1990 I never had a full time job as I focused on my creative life as an artist, writer, and performer.

Q: Now?
A: Retired. There, I’ve said the “R” word. Bop between country and city as I share caretaking for my 96-year-old father. Follow my creative thread as best I can.

Q:When you’re not with your father?
A: Rest, relax, recharge, regroup in the city with friends, books, films, and creative work as I’m able. Nothing of any particular social value.

Q: Travel?
A: Yes.
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SPRINGBOARD QUESTIONS

Okay, now we get to the really interesting questions. In no particular order here are some questions my pal calls “springboards.” My image of “springboard” is a high diving board. Warning: Be careful. Diving from great heights into deep water can be hazardous.

Q: What is the core value that motivates your life and work?
A: I want to make something beautiful for God. My vision is one world drawn together through art.

Q: The mission for Riehlife is to “Create connections through the arts and across cultures.” What does connection mean to you?
A: Connection is at the heart of creativity in all its forms–the stuff we do daily and the stuff we make. To connect ideas–or anything else–one must first diverge to explore possibilities and then converge to bring these possibilities together.

Q: What’s been the glue in your intimate relationships? Great sex?
A: [Laughter] Unfortunately, no. The glue has been companionship with an eye to comfort and help.

Q: Has formal spiritual practice been important in your relationships?
A: No. Though some have been soulful.

A: I’ve never heard you use “Buddhism” and “Art” in the same sentence. Do these connect for you?
Q: this is a question whose answer is contained in whole libraries. If we recast the question as “What’s the Art Spirit to you?” then we cut it down to fewer libraries. Briefly? When we infuse our art with spirit, we infuse ourselves and the world with spirit. This morning I’m thinking of “spirit” as a “spirited horse” filled with piss and vinegar.

QUESTIONS THAT CUT TO THE QUICK OF ME

Q: If you weren’t so involved with your father, what would you do?
A: Are you talking about right now? Such as: What are my interests? What are the constraints on my current life? Or, are you talking about the future?

Q: Let’s say, what would your life look like without constraints (schedule, time, energy, mobility)?
A: I no longer know. Mostly I would have the space to know.

Q: What will you do after your father’s death?
A: This is the really big question that cuts to the heart of me. My most tumultuous struggle is to imagine life without my father in it, and to prepare for that. Who will I be and what will I be doing after his death? Is there life after Daddy Care? Seven years into family caretaking, my challenge is to take care of myself and to trust that there is a future, even though I have no clue what it is. To trust that I’ll be able to sort out later what it all means.